Are You A Whore

An instructional fashion guide to concealing your inner prostitute
  • June 25, 2010 12:59 pm

    Chipped Nail Polish

    It only begs the question: how did you chip your nail polish?

     

    Unfortunately the imagination can run wild.

    Were you dragged through a brothel? Manhandled in a bedroom? Trying to fasten the buckles on your 6-inch platforms? Rummaging through your purse for spare change to buy a lollipop ring? Fighting off your pimp?

    Don’t provoke these thoughts…  If you can’t get a new polish on a routine basis, don’t get a polish at all.

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  • April 15, 2010 10:04 pm

    The Hoop

    We should probably confront this right off the bat: The Hoop.

    While shiny and smooth (and a throwback to every girl’s favorite decade, the ’80s), this accessory should not leave the jewelry box until your first born. Here’s why…

    Unfortunately, when we think of hoop earrings, we think of the following women:

    Dang girl!! That ain’t gonna get you a rock!!

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  • 9:46 pm

    Clear Heels

    As Chris Rock once said: When did clear heels become the new whore uniform? When did that happen? Was there a big ho convention, and all the hoes got together and said: “We need something new! Something that just says nasty”…And one girl said: “I got it! Clear heels!” Ooh, girl, you disgusting!”

    Thanks to Prada Spring 2010, here are some hooker heels disgused as fashion.

    But really, what these shoes are saying is:

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  • 9:03 pm

    NY Times 2006

    An American holiday used as a justification for dressing like a whore.

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